Saturday, March 15, 2008

Is this the complaint department? Can you handle a whining complaint? Last night I got upset; shoot, I got mad - something I haven't done in a long while. And all over a box of tissue. Several years ago when I was working some 12-hr days, Terry lined up a friend to clean our house every two weeks. Even though my schedule is not quite that bad now, she still cleans for us. And I love her dearly. But... She forgets that I need things put back in the same place. Last night, in the dark, (lights on, lights out - not much difference to me these days) I reached for a tissue and the box wasn't in its usual place. For just a moment it flew all over me (a good ole Southern phrase).

My anger lasted less than a minute, but it shook me that it happened at all. You'd think I'd be used to this handicap by now, but occasionally my anger with the entire situation rears its ugly head. The truth is that I turned my blindness and all its attending complications over to Jesus years ago and mostly I'm able to cope (only by His grace). But {gasp!} I'm human! And here's a little secret we may all cherish deep within: Sometimes I just enjoy getting mad. How sad is that!

The tissue issue was the trigger, but, as with most manic emotions, things had been building for a while. For instance, I've had two different short Bible studies that I've been wanting to write for several weeks. In the past I could pick up my Bible any time and read/study. But now I have to go to the office, turn on the computer, load the Bible program. It's just slightly more complicated and that has stifled the creative process for me. This has been a difficult transitional time - changing reading/studying formats - and there will probably be more breakdowns.

So I'm done whining (for now). The computer is on; the program is loaded. Now's the perfect time to work on those two studies I've been thinking about. Prayers, everyone! (and thanks)

1 comment:

C J Garrett said...

Hope you're feeling better and learning to cope with the new challenges. If anybody deserves an occasional "hissy fit," it's you. Make it a good one when you do it. Glad to know you've still got some redhead in you.